Emma Valentine (Agnes Moorehead; 1900 - 1974) is the main villainess in the 1967 episode "The Night of the Vicious Valentine" for the TV series "The Wild Wild West".
Emma Valentine is a hostess and evil matchmaker who specializes in finding young, beautiful wives for wealthy older men.
Rich industrialists are being systematically murdered. President Grant is concerned that their holdings may end up concentrated in the wrong hands, which would endanger the U.S. economy. Jim West (Robert Conrad) and Artemus Gordon (Ross Martin) are in Kansas City investigating the murders. They arrive too late to save Curtis Langley Dodd (J. Edward McKinley), a wheat magnate, from being killed by a contraption within his piano. They comfort the widow Elaine Dodd (Diane McBain) as she mourns her husband.
West and Gordon determine that the killer is murdering wealthy men in alphabetical order and on holidays only. With that reasoning, an “E” should be next on the list. Jim realizes the stationery for Dodd’s funeral matches that of an earlier note for another victim, and he and Artemus investigate at a local print shop. They are ambushed at the shop and fight off the assailants before leaving, retrieving only a wedding invitation for a Mr. Paul J. Lambert (Henry Beckman), a local magnate.
Jim and Artemus realize that the stationery clues point to a Ms. Emma Valentine, the matchmaker who arranged Dodd’s and Lamberts’ weddings. Jim meets Ms. Valentine at the print shop. She invites her to one of her upcoming parties to be one of her "discoveries".
In the meantime, Paul Lambert is warned by Artemus that he is in danger and must postpone his wedding until they figure out where the threat is coming from. However, his bride-to-be, Michele LeMaster (Sherry Jackson) comes in and Lambert caves to the idea of postponing.
Later, West tries to sneak into Emma's home, but he is found and captured by her. West is placed in a chair with feminine mannequin arms restraining him. While in this predicament, Emma reveals her role as the alphabet killer, arranging marriages between wealthy old men and young women in her command. By disposing of the husbands, she gains access to vast wealth, which she plans to use to conquer the nation. Her ultimate plan is to be elected Queen of America, where her first act would be to outlaw all marriages that she had not personally arranged. She considers herself to be a feminist who wants to "protect womankind from domination of the spirt, economic exploitation, annihilation of the mind. In brief, all the injustices brought by men." She does not intend to rule forever, just until women can obtain their own freedom. At this time she would release the country into a democracy, and allow the grateful nation to elect me president.
Emma has several questions for Mr. West. First she asks him if he prefers blondes, brunettes, or redheads, to which he answers "yes...all three". Her second question is "What do you demand in a woman...intelligence or beauty?" Jim responds "Beauty of they are intelligent, intelligence if they are beautiful". Her third question is what he notices first in a woman. West answered, "Her lips, her eyes, her hair, her figure....but not necessarily in that order".
While the two of them are having a conversation, Emma is cutting hearts from a red piece of paper. When she is through, she unfolds it and tells Mr. West that it is a picture of his personality. The sizes and shapes of the hearts show his likes and dislikes. She then feeds it into a large computer which she calls the Love Eternal Machine. A printout comes out the other end that states that West's ideal mate is a combination of Aphrodite, Helen of Troy, and Lola Montes. Jim informs her that he likes to do his own shopping. Emma fires back that he only enjoys those fluffy headed girls. When Jim makes a snarky comment, Emma slaps him.
Emma introduces Jim to Michele as he is still tied up. Emma notices that Jim is attracted to her, and calls her a ball of fluff. To degrade her she mentions that she saved Michele from a French prison after a minor charge of theft. She elevated this street urchin into a lady. As a result, Michele is being blackmailed to comply with the arrangement with the threat of being returned to prison. When they are alone, Jim tries to reason with Michele, but she feels helpless to oppose Ms. Valentine.
Artemus tries to use a disguise as a Jewish tailor to infiltrate Ms. Valentine’s home before the wedding. However, Elaine is able to thwart his disguise and warn Ms. Valentine. She pulls a pistol on Artemus.
Jim and Artemus are tied to a contraption on the stained glass roof that is tied to the organ used in the wedding ceremony below. It will kill both them and Lambert when a certain chord is played on the organ by Elaine after the wedding is complete.
Jim and Artemus manage to escape and when the ceiling collapses they are able to fight off Valentine’s goons. Valentine nearly kills Jim, but Michele has a change of heart and stops her by lifting her hand while the gun goes off. Valentine escapes and Jim and Artemus give chase. Michele gives back Lambert’s ring and tells him she can’t marry him due to her complicity in Valentine’s scheme.
In the epilogue it is discovered that Valentine and her minions (including Elaine) were apprehended. They receive a box of chocolates from Michele, who writes that in spite of everything, the wedding will go forward as planned.
Trivia[]
- Agnes Moorehead's performance as Emma Valentine resulted in the show's only Emmy Award (Outstanding Supportive Actress In A Drama Series).
- Agnes Moorehead is best known as Endora, the mother-in-law in the TV series "Bewitched".
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