Ugo Bertolazzi (Ugo Tognazzi), Raimondo Vallardi (Raimondo Vianello) and Marcella Bertolazzi (Monique Just), are a trio of unsuccessful actors who specialize in crime scenes which are never seen. While they are rehearsing a proposed act in front of a producer in a boarding-house bedroom, they are seen through the window by Arturo Michelotti (Francesco Mule), who takes Ugo and Raimondo as real killers and Marcella as their victim.
Arturo is married to a faithless, two-timing woman, Annalisa Michelotti, whom he would like very much to dispose of. He manages to contact Ugo and Raimondo through a newspaper ad and promises them a large sum of money if they will carry out the job for him. Neither man would hurt a fly, but they need the money so badly, they pretend to accept the job.
Ugo and Raimondo work out an elaborate plan that will convince Arturo his wife is dead and he will pay them. However, neither of them knows that Arturo's wife also has plans to get rid of him and, together with her lover Pietro (Spiros Focas), who is Arturo's driver, she too has a plan and intends to use it. The plan she has is to use Ugo as the fall-guy.
Annalisa pretends to have an affair with Ugo, which causes even more jealousy in Arturo. Annalisa puts sleeping pills in Ugo's drink, so that he is out of the equation. When the scheme by Ugo and Raimondo does not go the way they or Arturo plan things go sour. Arturo returns home thinking that once and for all, Annalisa has been eliminated. However, when Annalisa appears from the balcony, Arturo thinking he is seeing a ghost, has a heart attack and dies. Annalisa and Pietro have to dispose of the body.
Now, they must get rid of the only people that could possibly uncover the truth. They take Ugo and Raimondo to a meat packing plant where they plan to feed their bodies to the meat grinder and get rid of the evidence. However, they are able to escape. Pietro falls off a ladder attempting to reach for Ugo, and he lands in the meat grinder. All that spits out is his shoes, while a string of sausage links comes out as the finished product.
Raimondo attempts to hide in the wooden barrells, and Annalisa takes an axe and rifle attempting to find the correct one where he is hiding. Just when she finds out the correct one, Marcella arrives with the authorities, and she is arrested.
The next day, we see Ugo, Raimondo and Marcella having dinner at a cafe and they show the newspaper headline, where the widiow of Arturo, Annalisa, has been arrested and taken to prison.
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